A Thousand Words | Dear Diary

Dear Diary!

19.03.17

Dear Diary! I don't know how I am managing to write today. Writing in a moving vehicle has always been a nauseating experience for me. The roads are bumpy, making it difficult to concentrate; but today I have to make an exception. Today I move to the city of my dreams. The road that leads to it is smooth as silk, yet I find it difficult to scribble down my thoughts; my pen still shakes in my hands. I blame it on the overwhelming excitement of finally making it...

23.04.17

Dear Diary! I am sorry that I have been away for so long. Things have just been crazy after the move. It took me some time to settle down, and then the dust took its own time to do the same. The apartment is nice though I have to share it with a few roommates. Budget is tight of course. Good things don't come cheap. A country boy like me has to adjust to the glamours and glitters of the city, and alongside, with the rates. Sometimes I do miss the country rates of produce and groceries. But mind you! that is the only thing I miss. The quality of goods here is so refined and amazing. Just yesterday, while walking through the isles of a mart, in the fruit section, I must've spotted at least a dozen exotic fruit I never knew existed. I didn't buy them, or rather, I couldn't. But that will be changing soon. You see, my training at my new job has ended. Tomorrow I go to the office as an official employee. It is probation period, but it's only 6 short months. Then will arrive the real good stuff...

05.06.17

Dear Diary! Am I a horrible person to be ignoring you so much of late? I really don't mean to and I really feel bad for it but I guess, priorities change when life does. I am going through my probation rather decently. I really don't want to mess up during this time frame so I give all my time to work. There are so many talented individuals competing for the same growth opportunities I am, and if I am to come out on top at the end, I have to outshine everyone else. There is simply no time to slack. But I do wish to find a little more time to write, but every time I think of doing it, I decide against it and give that time to work. I hope you can forgive me. What am I talking about? You are just an inanimate object. It is I who needs to forgive myself...

11.08.17
Dear Diary! Yesterday, a colleague said to me that this city is too fast for me. This was not the first time someone said that to me, but I am starting to seriously ponder on what it means. Because in the literal sense, the time flows in this city with the same speed as anywhere else. If everywhere else is OK for me, then technically, so should be this city. Yes! The distances here are great and you are often required to be at opposite ends of the city to get one thing done and that travelling takes up a lot of time. But this applies to everyone. Why do they only say it to me? Why is the city not fast for anyone else (considering the statement to be true, which it aint)? I walk the same speed, I work at the same rate, I use the same cab system as everyone else to get to places; yet they claim the city is too fast for me. I just don't get it. Maybe they just say such things to dampen the spirits of people. Maybe they just repeat to me what others had said to them in the past. Or maybe they don't know what and why they say...It's just the way of this city.

23.10.17

I am so angry and frustrated and have no place to vent. I guess writing in the diary will do the trick. Today was my first day out of probation, and my boss called me in and said that my performance has been "borderline satisfactory" and that I "needed to up my game" to survive in this place. I just don't know what the hell they want me to do more than what I am already doing. I have been busting my ass off for this company for over 7 months now, and this is how they thank me for it. Ingrate bastards, all of them. Everyone here seems so stuck up in their own puny-little-mess-of-a-life to notice the struggle and effort of anyone else. I feel so alone out here, surrounded by an ocean of people, every single one of them alone in their own right...

03.01.18
Minimal raise. That is what I got at the end of the year. Minimal possible raise with no promotion. I am going mad, slowly but surely. Last night, I got into a bar fight. That tantrum-throwing, shouting and screaming drunk was definitely not me. This city is changing me. At this rate, I might start hearing voices in my head pretty soon. I feel like a part of wants to stay what I used to be, and they city took the rest and evolved into something new. I cannot carry on much longer...

28.02.18
Dear Diary! F*ck You!...

_____________________

This amazing picture was taken by Ivan Andreevich, an amazing photographer. All rights to this picture are reserved by Ivan and we use this picture at A Thousand Words after full disclosure and consent. Visit his Gallery & Follow him on DeviantArt.